Newsies/Survivor
by Cairo
Summary: What would happen is the Newsies were on Survivor?


Day One:  
  
Today we arrived at a desolate island in the South Pacific to begin what could be the greatest adventure of our lives. As soon as we reached the shore, the cameras began to follow us, and they haven't stopped once. As much as I'm looking forward to this game, something strange is going on. While we were on the boat today, the crew split us into two tribes. I'm not complaining or anything, but aside from me, my tribe is entirely male! Not only that, they all seem to be about nineteen. Isn't there supposed to be a varied group of contestants. I guess not.  
  
Day Two:  
  
Well, today I got better acquainted with my tribe-mates. There are seven of us in total and I fear I may be the only sane one in the group. First of all, there's a tall, roguishly handsome kid called Jack. He seems kind of emotionally detached, but he's handy! He used the bits of twine left over from the food packaging to make us all rope-belts. Just like his own, he said. He also said they're going to come in handy when we begin to dwindle down to skin and bones due to our diet of rice and water. I guess he's right.  
  
Jack has a sidekick who's shorter but equally cute. His name is Davey and he has a terribly dated haircut, but he's a sweet kid. At first I thought he would do well in this game because he obviously has brains, but I soon found out he's really wimpy. He seems to have pissed of this ape living near our campsite, and what has ensued has not been pretty. It all began when he went looking for food and disturbed the ape's habitat. Later, Davey confronted the disgruntled primate only to have the crap kicked out of him. Honestly, who gets himself beaten up by an ape? Davey I guess. Anyway! Luckily Jack came along, dropkicked the monkey and saved the day. It didn't look THAT hard.  
  
Next, there's this rambunctious kid with well-defined triceps and curly hair. His name is Mush and he keeps prancing around claiming to be working on his "dance". I told him that if he didn't put his shirt back on he would probably burn. He looked at me with an expression of awe and bewilderment and told me that no one has ever asked him to put his shirt back on before. I guess there's a first for everything.  
  
There's also a blonde guy with a patch over one eye. It's obviously a stint to get attention. In his sleep last night, he kept yelling about "distribution prices" and "soaking" the "scabs". The whats? This kid has evidently gone through some traumatic childhood stuff.  
  
Finally, there's a small, dark-haired boy with a thick New York accent. He's useless. He sits around smoking Cubans all day and his voice makes him sound like he should be the villain's sidekick in a Disney cartoon. He could be a witty, talking rat, or a parrot or something.  
  
Oh wait! I forgot. There's one other person. Last, but definitely not strangest, there's this one little punk, who walks around with a pimping cane and an attitude problem. He keeps looking at me warily. Today, I told him that we should start building a proper shelter and he got right in my face and said: "Oh yeah? Yeah? What are you, some kind of walking mouth?" It was as if I was threatening him or something! But the shelter idea was just a suggestion.  
  
I have no idea what the next few weeks are going to be like.  
  
Day Three:  
  
Today we had our first ever Immunity Challenge. This game is full of surprises. We met up with the other tribe at a designated location and, upon seeing them, I thought they definitely had the advantage. Apparently I was wrong. The other tribe had the benefit of brains, brawn and skill, but we had the advantage of unpredictability! The task was a relay race. As a team, we were roped together and made to wade through neck-high waters with a flaming ember and a row of unlit torches. The first group to light all the torches then reach the Dingy at the end of the row, and paddle back to the safety of the shore was given immunity.  
  
Of all the things we lacked as a team (normalcy, coherence, talent, and experience) we sure didn't lack enthusiasm! In fact, Kid Blink may have been a bit over-zealous. He seemed really pumped and up for the challenge. He ran around slapping everyone jovially on the back. He threw a couple playful punches, even ruffled Davey's hair, but he took it one step too far when he gave Jack an affectionate, yet boisterous jab in the side. It so happened that the jab ricocheted off Jack's firm abdomen and Kid ended up hitting Mush in the ass. Needless to say, Mush was not happy and Kid is now nursing a swollen lip.  
  
Mush, still angry about Kid's come-on, refused, for a while, to partake in the game. I convinced him to play, however, when I told him that it was a water game, and that meant he got to take off most of his clothes. Mush seems to like doing that, but I have to admit, I like him doing that too.  
  
Finally, everything was going along swimmingly when suddenly we were nearly disqualified because Race tried to bargain with the host. He was willing to trade in Davey for the idol and Davey, as a result got sulky.  
  
Meanwhile, Jack and Spot were arguing over who was going to lead the group through the relay, and I had to confiscated both Spot's pimping cane and Jack's rope belt. They were using them inappropriately. Unfortunately, I had no idea that Spot also carried a sling shot until I felt a sharp pain in the back of my neck and the impact of the stone rendered me unconscious.  
  
When I came to, Davey was kneeling over me, singing to me and stroking my hair. He seemed to be mid-song and failed to notice when I had awoken. He was singing about "no one being able to take our rights away" when he got too caught up in the sound of his own voice and jumped to his feet, knocking me to the ground and belting to the heavens. What about MY right to survive an hour free of injury?  
  
Luckily, at this point, a whistle sounded, signaling the commencement of the game. Long story short, the other tribe seemed to be really distracted by the antics of my gang and they tripped early on. Miraculously, we won! Who knew?  
  
Day Four:  
  
Today was free of immunity challenges! Thank God. But not all is good, in fact, normalcy seems to be ever declining, and so do our chances of surviving another game.  
  
Spot's attitude is getting to be a bit much. After numerous threats directed at Race, Race snapped and grabbed Spot by the suspenders. He hiked to kid's pants up to the point of a wedgy and asked: "D'you want more ya little punk?" Spot's reply was muffled by screams of anguish and what ensued were evidently tears of pain. Davey, however, became much more upbeat as Spot's tears took away Davey's title of "Biggest Pussy on the Island".  
  
Davey ventured to perform a victory dance, which immediately won him back his title.  
  
Mush has pushed the limits as well. Going around shitless is one thing, but now he's cast aside the pants too. The overwhelming success he had with his shirtless idea gave him the incentive to simply strip down to his birthday suit. If we're lucky, he puts on his underwear for meals and challenges.  
  
Earlier, Jack killed a wild boar with a frying pan. We cooked it for dinner and Kid Blink ate more than his fair share. After that, no one would talk to him, and pitying the poor guy, I ventured a conversation. I asked him about his patch and he said: "Do you like that baby?" What, wounds? Defected eyes? No! But it turned out that he wore it as a "selling angle" whatever that may be. He even showed me his second eye and I must say he has nice ones! Then our friendly convo turned regrettably sour when he started ranting about "papes" again. I slipped away quietly.  
  
Anyway! It's been a tough day because we had to build a second shelter. No one wants to sleep beside the now naked Mush so he's been quarantined. Honestly! All we ask his that he cover up the lil' guy. No one wants to wake in the night to find that his or her hand has accidentally-never mind.  
  
Sleeping will hopefully prove a little more comfortable now that one person is out of the shelter. Jack, however, hogs both space and blankets and Davey likes to snuggle up against me. Of all the things I thought I would have to give up upon coming here, personal space wasn't one of them.  
  
Day Five:  
  
Sigh. I guess it was inevitable. The sexual tension on the island is growing more and more staggering. It would be tolerable if Kid Blink would stop making reference to "taking care of the big boys!" It would be one thing if he were to initiate a romantic relationship appropriately, but he skirts around the issue with crude references and this euphemism "big boys". Honestly, men!  
  
Today Davey tried to give me his number. He produced a business card complete with home phone, cell, e-mail address and small, yet disturbingly detailed pornographic images! I told his that it was disgusting and entirely inappropriate for our level of flirtation. He looked puzzled and explained that his friend Brian had given him a card of much the same style once.  
  
I've had it! I had to destroy Spot's cane this morning as I woke up last night to discover him running it up and down my leg! That kid just keeps making advances and I'm ashamed to admit that earlier today, I finally gave into them. Already, I know I made a mistake, but on the plus side, I think I now understand his definition of "soakin' ya!"  
  
Mush got jealous of the attention I've been paying to Spot lately and he insisted that I repeatedly feel his tight triceps. He said that I should see everywhere else he had been amply proportioned. I kindly reminded him that he was naked and had been so for three days. Everyone could see just how ample his proportions were.  
  
Davey, in turn, got jealous of my attention paid toward Mush and told me that what he lacked in brawn and physicality, he made up for in skill and technique. He also said that some people liked his soft and supple baby- like flesh. I asked him where he got his information and he told me that he had a really supportive friend: a mentor of sorts!  
  
The worst point arrived, when I went to bed and found that both Race and Jack had adopted Mush style of dress-or lack of. They were staring at me enticingly and evidently, happy to see a girl. I gave up and moved into the tent with Mush, figuring one sleeping nudist was better than two awake and excited ones. All night I heard much grief about Race and Jack's current state from both Kid Blink and Spot. Strangely, though, there was not a word of complaint ushered from Davey.  
  
Who is this Denton he speaks so fondly of anyway?  
  
In other news, we won immunity today. The other Tribe has come down with sun poisoning and two members are infected with tapeworms. Needless to say, they weren't up to par. I guess luck is on our side! 


End file.
